1 00:00:05,103 --> 00:00:08,275 Eddie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, aw. 2 00:00:08,310 --> 00:00:10,344 Ahh. 3 00:00:10,379 --> 00:00:11,862 Ahh. 4 00:00:11,896 --> 00:00:13,310 Unbelievable. 5 00:00:13,344 --> 00:00:15,103 I wouldn't have believed it myself 6 00:00:15,137 --> 00:00:16,068 had I not watched 7 00:00:16,103 --> 00:00:17,482 the whole thing in the mirror. 8 00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:18,827 [ Laughs ] 9 00:00:18,862 --> 00:00:21,344 If Jerry ever knew I was having sex 10 00:00:21,379 --> 00:00:24,413 with Eddie Penisi, he'd go psycho. 11 00:00:24,448 --> 00:00:27,068 Ooh, how psycho are we talking? 12 00:00:27,103 --> 00:00:28,068 Does it turn you on? 13 00:00:28,103 --> 00:00:31,034 Yeah, a little bit. 14 00:00:31,068 --> 00:00:32,896 Okay, a lot. 15 00:00:32,931 --> 00:00:34,172 You think he'd be mad, huh? 16 00:00:34,206 --> 00:00:36,448 He would go into a rage if he knew 17 00:00:36,482 --> 00:00:39,482 that you ravaged his childhood sweetheart. 18 00:00:39,517 --> 00:00:41,241 Go on, but talk slower. 19 00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:42,379 [ Vehicle door closes ] 20 00:00:42,413 --> 00:00:43,482 Shit, I think he's here. 21 00:00:43,517 --> 00:00:45,103 No, no, no. Don't skip to the end. 22 00:00:45,137 --> 00:00:46,206 I want to savor this. 23 00:00:46,241 --> 00:00:47,482 I just heard his keys in the door. 24 00:00:47,517 --> 00:00:48,655 Mmm, yeah. That's good. 25 00:00:48,689 --> 00:00:49,724 The details are everything.[ Door closes ] 26 00:00:49,758 --> 00:00:50,620 Jerry: Lola. Huh? 27 00:00:50,655 --> 00:00:52,034 We need a dog. 28 00:00:52,068 --> 00:00:53,655 Holy shit. He really is here. 29 00:00:53,689 --> 00:00:55,379 Under the bed. 30 00:00:55,413 --> 00:00:56,793 I thought you guys were separated. 31 00:00:56,827 --> 00:00:57,896 We are. 32 00:00:57,931 --> 00:01:00,034 I just haven't changed the locks. 33 00:01:00,068 --> 00:01:01,724 Lola, where are you?! 34 00:01:05,689 --> 00:01:07,068 Jerry, no. 35 00:01:07,103 --> 00:01:10,310 One more chance, baby. Come on. 36 00:01:10,344 --> 00:01:12,379 I've learned my lesson. From now on, Daddy Bear 37 00:01:12,413 --> 00:01:14,241 keeps his service revolver in his holster, 38 00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:18,827 and he also stops sleeping with other women. 39 00:01:18,862 --> 00:01:20,827 You look great. 40 00:01:20,862 --> 00:01:21,931 Well, just let me get dressed. 41 00:01:21,965 --> 00:01:25,517 I'll meet you in the kitchen. 42 00:01:25,551 --> 00:01:27,172 Okay. 43 00:01:30,896 --> 00:01:33,034 He calls himself Daddy Bear? I thought I was a freak. 44 00:01:33,068 --> 00:01:34,413 How do I get you out of here? 45 00:01:34,448 --> 00:01:36,172 I got this. 46 00:01:36,206 --> 00:01:37,655 Eddie, you can't do that. 47 00:01:37,689 --> 00:01:39,000 We're three stories up. 48 00:01:39,034 --> 00:01:40,827 Eddie! You're dynamite. 49 00:01:40,862 --> 00:01:42,793 No! Whoo! 50 00:01:42,827 --> 00:01:44,655 -Yeah! -Alright! 51 00:01:44,689 --> 00:01:46,068 -Good form. -Rock 'n' roll, baby. 52 00:01:46,103 --> 00:01:48,862 -Look at him. -Oh, wow. 53 00:01:48,896 --> 00:01:50,724 I am on a roll. Thanks, guys. 54 00:01:50,758 --> 00:01:52,034 Hey, no problem, man. 55 00:01:52,068 --> 00:01:53,517 We were right down the street at Starbucks. 56 00:01:53,551 --> 00:01:55,034 Oh, did you get me a grande macchiato 57 00:01:55,068 --> 00:01:56,241 and low-fat raspberry muffin? 58 00:01:56,275 --> 00:01:57,448 We sure did. 59 00:01:57,482 --> 00:01:58,931 You're lucky we were in the neighborhood. 60 00:01:58,965 --> 00:02:00,413 I'm not lucky. 61 00:02:00,448 --> 00:02:01,689 I'm Eddie Penisi. 62 00:02:01,724 --> 00:02:04,896 -Hey. -Son of a bitch. 63 00:02:04,931 --> 00:02:07,275 [ Foreigner's "Hot Blooded" plays ] 64 00:02:07,310 --> 00:02:12,862 ♪♪ 65 00:02:12,896 --> 00:02:15,517 ♪ Well, I'm hot blooded 66 00:02:15,551 --> 00:02:18,000 ♪ Check it and see 67 00:02:18,034 --> 00:02:21,931 ♪ I got a fever of 103 68 00:02:21,965 --> 00:02:25,586 ♪ I'm hot blooded 69 00:02:25,620 --> 00:02:26,793 [ All cheering ] 70 00:02:26,827 --> 00:02:28,241 Linda: Thank you all so much for joining us 71 00:02:28,275 --> 00:02:30,551 for this year's Tacoma Police Department 72 00:02:30,586 --> 00:02:33,275 versus Fire Department charity boxing match. 73 00:02:33,310 --> 00:02:36,034 -Yeah! -Sorry, Chief. 74 00:02:36,068 --> 00:02:39,000 Didn't mean to use the word "match" in your presence. 75 00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:40,241 Oh, it's okay. 76 00:02:40,275 --> 00:02:42,586 You used a different meaning of the word, so... 77 00:02:44,586 --> 00:02:45,896 [ Chuckles nervously ] So true. 78 00:02:45,931 --> 00:02:49,000 Well, I know the press has a lot of questions, so... 79 00:02:49,034 --> 00:02:51,862 Yes, Ken Walthers, "My Neighborhood App." 80 00:02:51,896 --> 00:02:55,517 Care to comment about the missing dog on Maple Drive? 81 00:02:55,551 --> 00:02:57,206 Okay, no one from the real press? 82 00:02:57,241 --> 00:02:58,413 [ Clears throat ] 83 00:02:58,448 --> 00:03:00,137 Well, then I will announce the matchups. 84 00:03:00,172 --> 00:03:01,344 Yeah! 85 00:03:01,379 --> 00:03:04,206 This year promises four thrilling showdowns, 86 00:03:04,241 --> 00:03:08,241 TFD Engineer Ike Crystal will take on Officer Leonard Tubbs, 87 00:03:08,275 --> 00:03:10,517 and Officer Brad Shuck will go toe-to-toe 88 00:03:10,551 --> 00:03:13,103 with Paramedic Granville Smith. 89 00:03:13,137 --> 00:03:16,724 Officer Liz Salazar will take on Lucy McConky, 90 00:03:16,758 --> 00:03:18,655 who is a collegiate judo champ. 91 00:03:18,689 --> 00:03:20,275 I'd like to take a moment to introduce 92 00:03:20,310 --> 00:03:22,413 a special young man in the crowd, 93 00:03:22,448 --> 00:03:25,275 volunteer junior police explorer Bucky Edelstein, 94 00:03:25,310 --> 00:03:27,275 who walks the German Shepherd on weekends. 95 00:03:27,310 --> 00:03:28,896 Aw. 96 00:03:28,931 --> 00:03:33,137 Young Bucky will take on TFD's very own Andy Myawani. 97 00:03:33,172 --> 00:03:36,517 Now, who's ready for some trash talk? 98 00:03:36,551 --> 00:03:38,586 [ All cheering ] 99 00:03:38,620 --> 00:03:41,241 Captain Polonsky. 100 00:03:41,275 --> 00:03:45,724 [ Chanting "TPD" ] 101 00:03:45,758 --> 00:03:47,068 [ Silence ] 102 00:03:47,103 --> 00:03:48,827 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 103 00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:52,137 We look forward to showing Grit City...[ Yawning loudly ] 104 00:03:52,172 --> 00:03:55,655 ...which department has the most grit. 105 00:03:55,689 --> 00:03:58,448 -Boom! -TPD! 106 00:03:58,482 --> 00:04:01,931 And as far as Tacoma FD is concerned, 107 00:04:01,965 --> 00:04:05,758 well, you have the right 108 00:04:05,793 --> 00:04:08,103 to receive a first-degree beatdown. 109 00:04:08,137 --> 00:04:11,068 -Oh! -Oh! 110 00:04:11,103 --> 00:04:13,241 You have the right 111 00:04:13,275 --> 00:04:16,413 to have the bitch slapped out of you. 112 00:04:16,448 --> 00:04:18,206 If you cannot stand up after, 113 00:04:18,241 --> 00:04:21,965 a stretcher will be provided for you. 114 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,862 [ Laughter ] 115 00:04:23,896 --> 00:04:26,517 TPD out! -TPD! 116 00:04:26,551 --> 00:04:28,862 [ Chanting "TPD" ] 117 00:04:31,068 --> 00:04:32,379 [ Silence ] 118 00:04:32,413 --> 00:04:33,586 Wow. 119 00:04:33,620 --> 00:04:37,344 Talk about your Miranda Wrongs. 120 00:04:37,379 --> 00:04:41,379 Okay, now let's get fired up for Chief Terry McConky. 121 00:04:41,413 --> 00:04:42,827 -Yeah! -Yes! 122 00:04:42,862 --> 00:04:43,827 Let's go, Chief! 123 00:04:43,862 --> 00:04:44,862 [ Chanting "Chief" ] 124 00:04:44,896 --> 00:04:46,448 No. No. 125 00:04:46,482 --> 00:04:47,586 Tell them, Chief! 126 00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:49,862 Yeah. We're looking forward to this, 127 00:04:49,896 --> 00:04:54,586 and, uh, it's gonna be a really big thing. 128 00:04:54,620 --> 00:04:57,344 Oh, sir. Can you clear that doorway? 129 00:04:57,379 --> 00:04:59,482 That is an emergency egress. 130 00:04:59,517 --> 00:05:01,344 Thank you. 131 00:05:01,379 --> 00:05:02,724 Well, that'll sell tickets. 132 00:05:02,758 --> 00:05:06,965 Let's all hear it for the Battle Just Outside Seattle. 133 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:10,034 -Alright! -Yeah! 134 00:05:13,413 --> 00:05:15,862 Hey, probie, I got a ton of grunt work for you to do. 135 00:05:15,896 --> 00:05:18,482 I got a bunch of unwrapped hose in the garage. 136 00:05:18,517 --> 00:05:20,310 The equipment needs to be stowed on the shelves, 137 00:05:20,344 --> 00:05:23,310 and the bathrooms need a once-over, so come on. 138 00:05:23,344 --> 00:05:24,655 That's a lot of grunting.Here. 139 00:05:24,689 --> 00:05:26,689 I got a probie do-list for you to do, too. 140 00:05:26,724 --> 00:05:28,482 Start by sharpening the axes. 141 00:05:28,517 --> 00:05:30,241 Somebody used them to break down a side of beef 142 00:05:30,275 --> 00:05:33,827 that somebody bought at the butcher shop yesterday. 143 00:05:33,862 --> 00:05:36,344 [ Groans ] Hey, Granny. 144 00:05:36,379 --> 00:05:38,000 I got these test results from my doctor, 145 00:05:38,034 --> 00:05:39,172 and it can't make heads or tails of it. 146 00:05:39,206 --> 00:05:41,758 Can you help me out here? 147 00:05:41,793 --> 00:05:44,379 Aha. This is why you've been so sluggish lately. 148 00:05:44,413 --> 00:05:45,689 I don't think I been that... 149 00:05:45,724 --> 00:05:53,000 [ Yawns loudly ] 150 00:05:53,034 --> 00:05:54,034 I don't think I've been that sluggish. 151 00:05:54,068 --> 00:05:55,724 It says here that you got low T. 152 00:05:55,758 --> 00:05:57,137 Low testosterone?Yeah. 153 00:05:57,172 --> 00:05:59,137 You got the levels of a 13-year-old girl. 154 00:05:59,172 --> 00:06:00,620 Huh. 155 00:06:00,655 --> 00:06:02,172 That's why I've been watching so much "Riverdale." 156 00:06:02,206 --> 00:06:03,482 I thought it was the dark take 157 00:06:03,517 --> 00:06:05,034 on an otherwise delightful comic book. 158 00:06:05,068 --> 00:06:07,000 Their Jughead doesn't even wear the crown. 159 00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:08,724 That part doesn't bother me.Yeah, no. 160 00:06:08,758 --> 00:06:10,724 Decline in testosterone happens with age 161 00:06:10,758 --> 00:06:11,862 or unhealthy living. 162 00:06:11,896 --> 00:06:13,206 Huh. What's the fix? 163 00:06:13,241 --> 00:06:14,413 Easy, just take some pills. 164 00:06:14,448 --> 00:06:16,965 You got Testy Boost XL or Pharmasec. 165 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:18,103 Yeah, right. 166 00:06:18,137 --> 00:06:21,241 Side effects include dry mouth and hairy knees. 167 00:06:21,275 --> 00:06:22,413 You know, I don't recommend 168 00:06:22,448 --> 00:06:23,758 taking too many pills, though, Chief. 169 00:06:23,793 --> 00:06:24,862 I take a fistful every morning, 170 00:06:24,896 --> 00:06:26,206 and I haven't crapped right in years. 171 00:06:26,241 --> 00:06:28,034 I don't want to jeopardize my craps. 172 00:06:28,068 --> 00:06:29,689 Those are my three favorite times of the day. 173 00:06:29,724 --> 00:06:31,275 There are other ways, though. 174 00:06:31,310 --> 00:06:34,034 In fact, there's a great article in this month's "Chiseled AF," 175 00:06:34,068 --> 00:06:36,551 "Natural Remedies for Everyday Maladies." 176 00:06:36,586 --> 00:06:38,206 You know, can get your testosterone levels up 177 00:06:38,241 --> 00:06:40,517 just by doing more male-based activities. 178 00:06:40,551 --> 00:06:42,413 For instance, you could get your T levels up 179 00:06:42,448 --> 00:06:43,724 just by eating more steak. 180 00:06:43,758 --> 00:06:44,931 Hmm. I like steak. 181 00:06:44,965 --> 00:06:46,275 That's -- that's not how it works. 182 00:06:46,310 --> 00:06:47,517 Let me ask you a question. 183 00:06:47,551 --> 00:06:48,965 You find yourself doing an overwhelming amount 184 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,379 of female activities? 185 00:06:50,413 --> 00:06:51,827 I do. I'm surrounded by women. 186 00:06:51,862 --> 00:06:53,275 I have a wife and three daughters. 187 00:06:53,310 --> 00:06:54,896 They make me piss sitting down. 188 00:06:54,931 --> 00:06:56,241 They made me buy a cat. 189 00:06:56,275 --> 00:06:57,586 They made me watch "The Voice." 190 00:06:57,620 --> 00:06:59,724 I do all those. Unbelievable. 191 00:07:01,827 --> 00:07:03,034 -Eh. -Oh. 192 00:07:03,068 --> 00:07:04,517 Ah, man. That's pathetic. 193 00:07:04,551 --> 00:07:05,862 Way off! Yikes. 194 00:07:05,896 --> 00:07:07,034 Help me out here, guys. 195 00:07:07,068 --> 00:07:08,827 For the sake of your health, 196 00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:10,931 you need 200cc of steak, stat. 197 00:07:10,965 --> 00:07:12,172 Eat steak. 198 00:07:12,206 --> 00:07:13,275 I can get onboard with that. 199 00:07:13,310 --> 00:07:14,689 Sure, because you never need to base 200 00:07:14,724 --> 00:07:16,275 your medical decisions on science. 201 00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:17,862 Right. Science is for nerds. 202 00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:19,620 I hate nerds. 203 00:07:19,655 --> 00:07:21,448 Carry on. 204 00:07:21,482 --> 00:07:23,000 Hey, if it's like the middle of the night, though, 205 00:07:23,034 --> 00:07:25,206 you guys do sit down, right? 206 00:07:25,241 --> 00:07:26,862 What? 207 00:07:26,896 --> 00:07:28,551 [ Andy grunting ] 208 00:07:28,586 --> 00:07:30,448 This is gonna be our year. I'm telling you. 209 00:07:30,482 --> 00:07:33,275 Ooh, ah! 210 00:07:33,310 --> 00:07:35,241 You guys know the best way to train for a fight 211 00:07:35,275 --> 00:07:36,689 is lifting heavy crap. 212 00:07:36,724 --> 00:07:37,931 You guys want in on this? 213 00:07:37,965 --> 00:07:39,620 Ha! Try again, Tom Sawyer. 214 00:07:39,655 --> 00:07:42,137 You trying to trick us into doing your grunt work. 215 00:07:42,172 --> 00:07:44,551 I'm trying to give you guys the competitive edge. 216 00:07:44,586 --> 00:07:46,068 You guys lost to the cops last year. 217 00:07:46,103 --> 00:07:47,241 Didn't that suck? Yeah. 218 00:07:47,275 --> 00:07:49,000 Yeah. That was pretty shitty, I guess. 219 00:07:49,034 --> 00:07:50,758 This is the year you get revenge. 220 00:07:50,793 --> 00:07:53,068 I mean, how did Rocky Balboa beat Ivan Drago 221 00:07:53,103 --> 00:07:53,931 in "Rocky IV"? 222 00:07:53,965 --> 00:07:55,551 He was more American. 223 00:07:55,586 --> 00:07:58,724 Chopping wood, lifting rocks in a barn, those were chores. 224 00:07:58,758 --> 00:08:00,482 Rocky was just doing Mickey's chores. 225 00:08:00,517 --> 00:08:02,241 Mickey wasn't in "Rocky IV." He was dead by then. 226 00:08:02,275 --> 00:08:04,275 Yeah, Lucy. "You're a bum!" 227 00:08:04,310 --> 00:08:06,034 It's more like, "You're a bum, 228 00:08:06,068 --> 00:08:07,241 and you'll never amount to nothing." 229 00:08:07,275 --> 00:08:09,689 He kind of sounds more drunk like, 230 00:08:09,724 --> 00:08:11,206 "You're a bum, Lucy. I found you in the Dumpster." 231 00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:12,689 Eddie: Eh, no. That sucks. 232 00:08:12,724 --> 00:08:14,724 It's more like this, "You're a bum, I tells you." 233 00:08:14,758 --> 00:08:15,724 Terry: No. Need more spittle. 234 00:08:15,758 --> 00:08:17,827 "You're a stinking bum, Rocky. 235 00:08:17,862 --> 00:08:19,758 I'll never train a stinking bum like you." 236 00:08:19,793 --> 00:08:21,413 -Oh. There it is. -Yeah. 237 00:08:21,448 --> 00:08:23,310 One of you guys is a dead man. 238 00:08:23,344 --> 00:08:24,793 So dead. 239 00:08:24,827 --> 00:08:26,034 You guys ever enter a room without storming in angrily? 240 00:08:26,068 --> 00:08:27,172 I want to know which one of your guys 241 00:08:27,206 --> 00:08:28,827 is sending dick pics to my wife. 242 00:08:28,862 --> 00:08:30,758 Why do you think it was one of my guys, Jerry? 243 00:08:30,793 --> 00:08:33,034 Because he's wearing blue pants, Terry. 244 00:08:33,068 --> 00:08:34,862 That could be any uniform.Oh, really? 245 00:08:34,896 --> 00:08:36,551 Take a look. What do you see? 246 00:08:36,586 --> 00:08:38,000 Hmm, a penis. 247 00:08:38,034 --> 00:08:39,379 Behind the penis. 248 00:08:39,413 --> 00:08:41,724 -Uh, scrotum. -Behind the scrotum. 249 00:08:41,758 --> 00:08:43,206 How do you enlarge this thing? 250 00:08:43,241 --> 00:08:44,689 Right there. Huh? 251 00:08:44,724 --> 00:08:46,000 What do you see? 252 00:08:46,034 --> 00:08:48,965 That's a locker with a Tacoma FD turnout. 253 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:50,034 I mean, I still see scrotum. 254 00:08:50,068 --> 00:08:53,000 Trust me. I know it's not Andy. 255 00:08:53,034 --> 00:08:54,896 Let me just narrow this down for you, Jerry. 256 00:08:54,931 --> 00:08:56,586 The mystery member belongs to me. 257 00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:57,758 -You son of a bitch. -No, no! 258 00:08:57,793 --> 00:08:58,793 I'll kill you! 259 00:08:58,827 --> 00:09:00,103 -Whoa! -You cheated on her. 260 00:09:00,137 --> 00:09:02,724 I was just revenge, a dish best served 261 00:09:02,758 --> 00:09:05,482 with a side of sausage a la Penisi. 262 00:09:05,517 --> 00:09:07,482 -Hey! -A la Penisi! 263 00:09:07,517 --> 00:09:08,482 A la Penisi! 264 00:09:08,517 --> 00:09:09,896 You know what? 265 00:09:09,931 --> 00:09:11,241 I'm not gonna kill you today. 266 00:09:11,275 --> 00:09:13,344 I'm gonna wait till next week after my guys pummel 267 00:09:13,379 --> 00:09:14,896 your guys at the boxing match 268 00:09:14,931 --> 00:09:18,586 because I challenge you to the main event. 269 00:09:18,620 --> 00:09:19,965 -Ooh! -Alright. 270 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,965 I just crapped in my underpants. 271 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:25,034 Good thing I'm wearing yours. 272 00:09:25,068 --> 00:09:26,034 -Oh! -Oh! 273 00:09:26,068 --> 00:09:28,068 -Oh! -Oh! 274 00:09:28,103 --> 00:09:31,241 -Oh! -Oh! 275 00:09:31,275 --> 00:09:35,034 Doo-doo-doo-doo-da-da! 276 00:09:35,068 --> 00:09:36,413 You know what? 277 00:09:36,448 --> 00:09:38,724 You're a dead man, and I'm telling my guys 278 00:09:38,758 --> 00:09:40,379 anyone who knocks their opponent out cold 279 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,551 gets a free lobster dinner. 280 00:09:42,586 --> 00:09:44,103 -Ooh! -Ooh! 281 00:09:44,137 --> 00:09:45,448 We talking Red Lobster, 282 00:09:45,482 --> 00:09:47,655 or we talking tablecloths and napkins 283 00:09:47,689 --> 00:09:50,862 and candles, like, Il Lobsterino? 284 00:09:50,896 --> 00:09:52,758 Cloth, candles. 285 00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:54,413 -Yeah. -Sommelier. 286 00:09:54,448 --> 00:09:55,862 -Sommelier. -Ooh! 287 00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:59,172 Why would you want to go to a Somalian lobster restaurant? 288 00:09:59,206 --> 00:10:01,862 -We'll see you next week. -Ooh. 289 00:10:01,896 --> 00:10:03,655 Maybe a snifter of cognac, capreses. 290 00:10:03,689 --> 00:10:04,551 Come on. 291 00:10:04,586 --> 00:10:06,931 Relax. It's gonna be fine. 292 00:10:06,965 --> 00:10:08,310 I'm Eddie Penisi. 293 00:10:08,344 --> 00:10:09,413 ♪ Eddie 294 00:10:09,448 --> 00:10:10,655 -Hey! -Whoa! 295 00:10:10,689 --> 00:10:11,379 Man: Son of a bitch. 296 00:10:15,103 --> 00:10:16,724 [ Grunting ] 297 00:10:20,448 --> 00:10:21,620 Hmm, impressive. 298 00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:23,068 Yeah. 299 00:10:23,103 --> 00:10:25,517 Now that this charity match has turned into a blood sport, 300 00:10:25,551 --> 00:10:26,758 I'm wondering if we should take up 301 00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,862 Judo Girl on her offer. -Alrighty. 302 00:10:28,896 --> 00:10:30,655 You really thinking about doing her chores? 303 00:10:30,689 --> 00:10:33,275 What if she is like Mr. Miyagi from "The Karate Kid," 304 00:10:33,310 --> 00:10:34,724 and all the repetitive movements 305 00:10:34,758 --> 00:10:36,413 turn into super-cool martial-arts moves 306 00:10:36,448 --> 00:10:38,275 that we can apply to the ring? 307 00:10:41,034 --> 00:10:42,827 Son of a bitch! 308 00:10:42,862 --> 00:10:44,965 -Ooh! -Ooh-hoo-hoo! 309 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:46,551 Hey, it worked 3 times in the '80s 310 00:10:46,586 --> 00:10:48,758 and one time for Will Smith's son, so... 311 00:10:48,793 --> 00:10:49,758 Yeah. Let's do this. 312 00:10:49,793 --> 00:10:51,689 Let's do it. Hey, ma'am. 313 00:10:51,724 --> 00:10:53,896 You ever seen "Robin Hood"? 314 00:10:53,931 --> 00:10:56,344 You know what I mean? -Here you go. 315 00:10:56,379 --> 00:10:57,448 Yeah. What's this? 316 00:10:57,482 --> 00:10:59,000 Chief has got low testosterone, so... 317 00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:00,379 Yeah, well, no surprise there. 318 00:11:00,413 --> 00:11:02,448 Terry is a girl's name, and he's only got one testicle. 319 00:11:02,482 --> 00:11:04,413 Hey, I lost that testicle saving your life. 320 00:11:04,448 --> 00:11:05,793 So what? 321 00:11:05,827 --> 00:11:06,862 The lamb chops are supposed to hike up your T levels? 322 00:11:06,896 --> 00:11:08,517 Yeah. Granny wants me to take pills. 323 00:11:08,551 --> 00:11:10,655 I figured first I'd try the Ike Crystal Method. 324 00:11:10,689 --> 00:11:12,620 Yeah. I call it the Crystal Meth for short. 325 00:11:12,655 --> 00:11:13,896 [ Laughs ] 326 00:11:13,931 --> 00:11:16,206 Crystal Meth? Okay. 327 00:11:16,241 --> 00:11:17,137 What's with the crossbow? 328 00:11:17,172 --> 00:11:18,241 I'm going hunting this weekend. 329 00:11:18,275 --> 00:11:19,620 -You don't hunt. -He does now. 330 00:11:19,655 --> 00:11:21,413 -I do now. -Oh, you know what? 331 00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:23,517 This thing with you and little Polonsky, knock it off. 332 00:11:23,551 --> 00:11:24,517 You're playing with fire. 333 00:11:24,551 --> 00:11:26,068 And as we all know, fire is bad. 334 00:11:26,103 --> 00:11:27,275 What can I say, fellas? 335 00:11:27,310 --> 00:11:28,689 Like many first responders, 336 00:11:28,724 --> 00:11:31,172 I have developed quite a thirst for danger. 337 00:11:31,206 --> 00:11:33,551 Well, drinking danger is not good for anyone's digestion. 338 00:11:33,586 --> 00:11:34,655 Just point it that way. 339 00:11:34,689 --> 00:11:36,034 I don't think you guys understand. 340 00:11:36,068 --> 00:11:37,862 I am such a hot streak right now. 341 00:11:37,896 --> 00:11:39,275 Everything is coming up Eddie. 342 00:11:39,310 --> 00:11:41,310 Every time I go to the track, I win big. 343 00:11:41,344 --> 00:11:43,793 Every time I turn on the radio, it's Def Leppard. 344 00:11:43,827 --> 00:11:46,034 I can't lose. -Well, thanks to you, 345 00:11:46,068 --> 00:11:48,103 all these guys have lobster bounties on their heads. 346 00:11:48,137 --> 00:11:50,275 Well, I can't speak for the other guys, 347 00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:51,310 but I'm Eddie Penisi. 348 00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:52,896 ♪ Eddie 349 00:11:52,931 --> 00:11:54,689 Are you trying to turn your name into a catch phrase? 350 00:11:54,724 --> 00:11:57,413 No, though it would look nice on a bumper sticker. 351 00:11:57,448 --> 00:11:59,000 Break it off with Lola Polonsky 352 00:11:59,034 --> 00:12:00,172 before your luck runs out. 353 00:12:00,206 --> 00:12:01,344 Whoa! Oh, boy. 354 00:12:01,379 --> 00:12:03,241 -Oh-hoo-hoo! -Whoa. 355 00:12:03,275 --> 00:12:04,724 Okay. See that? 356 00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:06,241 There was a time when that would have nailed me 357 00:12:06,275 --> 00:12:08,862 right between the eyes, but not these days 358 00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:11,344 because these days I'm crapping rabbits' feet. 359 00:12:11,379 --> 00:12:12,758 ♪ Eddie 360 00:12:15,482 --> 00:12:16,551 Medium rare? 361 00:12:16,586 --> 00:12:18,448 Yeah. I barely cooked them. 362 00:12:18,482 --> 00:12:20,103 I like medium well. 363 00:12:22,137 --> 00:12:23,862 Roll the hose. Roll the hose. 364 00:12:23,896 --> 00:12:25,206 Roll the hose. 365 00:12:25,241 --> 00:12:28,551 I like to see you keeping it tight, mopping the floors. 366 00:12:28,586 --> 00:12:30,448 Yep, full extension. 367 00:12:30,482 --> 00:12:32,551 Great work, Ike. 368 00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:33,827 Clean the toilet bowl. 369 00:12:33,862 --> 00:12:35,965 Clean the toilet bowl, and... Oh, man. 370 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,310 It's kind of hard to yell at you when you're looking like that. 371 00:12:38,344 --> 00:12:40,931 I feel it in my triceps, coach. 372 00:12:40,965 --> 00:12:42,827 You're killing it, Andy. Keep it up. 373 00:12:42,862 --> 00:12:45,551 Can you talk to me about your influences? 374 00:12:45,586 --> 00:12:48,655 I think my fighting style could best be described 375 00:12:48,689 --> 00:12:50,586 as the grace of George Foreman 376 00:12:50,620 --> 00:12:54,275 with the intensity of Jackie Chan. 377 00:12:54,310 --> 00:12:55,275 Son of a bitch. 378 00:12:55,310 --> 00:12:57,310 You really called the press? 379 00:12:57,344 --> 00:12:59,034 Hey, I love this beat. 380 00:12:59,068 --> 00:13:01,413 I mean, usually I just post pictures about people 381 00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:03,034 I don't think belong in the neighborhood. 382 00:13:03,068 --> 00:13:04,310 [ Cellphone dings ] 383 00:13:04,344 --> 00:13:07,586 Hello. I have to go. 384 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:10,379 Uh, there's a missing package on Mulberry Lane. 385 00:13:11,413 --> 00:13:13,655 That guy's the best.Sounds important. 386 00:13:13,689 --> 00:13:16,034 Cap, you should really come train with us, you know? 387 00:13:16,068 --> 00:13:17,275 I don't know if you know this, 388 00:13:17,310 --> 00:13:19,068 but Polonsky is a Golden Gloves champion. 389 00:13:19,103 --> 00:13:21,137 No need. I got the psychological edge. 390 00:13:21,172 --> 00:13:22,724 I'm putting the stones to his wife. 391 00:13:22,758 --> 00:13:24,068 That does a number on a guy. 392 00:13:24,103 --> 00:13:25,172 Andy: Check this out. 393 00:13:25,206 --> 00:13:27,379 Polonsky just tagged you in a video, Cap. 394 00:13:27,413 --> 00:13:29,172 [ Grunting] 395 00:13:29,206 --> 00:13:32,172 Penisi, I am gonna bury you 396 00:13:32,206 --> 00:13:34,896 and then have a holiday party on your grave! 397 00:13:34,931 --> 00:13:36,413 [ Laughing] 398 00:13:38,862 --> 00:13:41,206 -Wow. He's good. -Fast, too. 399 00:13:41,241 --> 00:13:42,103 Lucy: You sure you don't want to take this 400 00:13:42,137 --> 00:13:43,172 a little more seriously? 401 00:13:43,206 --> 00:13:46,034 You're right. I got to step up my game. 402 00:13:46,068 --> 00:13:46,965 [ Grunts] 403 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,517 Ahh. 404 00:13:48,551 --> 00:13:49,586 Now I'm ready. 405 00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,758 -Ah, not quite. -Oh-ho-ho-ho. 406 00:13:51,793 --> 00:13:53,172 There you go. Now you are. 407 00:13:53,206 --> 00:13:55,620 Smooth as the day your doctor slapped that behind. 408 00:13:55,655 --> 00:13:56,896 Thanks, Andy's mom. 409 00:13:56,931 --> 00:13:59,172 Always a pleasure having you bronze and depilate me. 410 00:13:59,206 --> 00:14:00,758 Everybody is talking about the big fight 411 00:14:00,793 --> 00:14:02,103 on "My Neighborhood App."Mm-hmm. 412 00:14:02,137 --> 00:14:04,793 I got big Benjamins riding on you, Captain Eddie. 413 00:14:04,827 --> 00:14:07,068 Whatever you're betting, double it. 414 00:14:07,103 --> 00:14:08,551 Polonsky is a monster. 415 00:14:08,586 --> 00:14:11,241 Maybe you'd want to take a supplement, 416 00:14:11,275 --> 00:14:14,551 maybe not FDA approved, maybe? 417 00:14:14,586 --> 00:14:16,551 No thanks. I got this fight in the bag. 418 00:14:16,586 --> 00:14:18,896 Remember, I'm Eddie Penisi. 419 00:14:18,931 --> 00:14:20,034 ♪ Eddie 420 00:14:20,068 --> 00:14:21,896 Alright. Nobody questions you're Eddie Penisi, 421 00:14:21,931 --> 00:14:24,827 but in case you're not, perhaps you'd be interested 422 00:14:24,862 --> 00:14:29,655 in taking something called whale haunch. 423 00:14:29,689 --> 00:14:30,965 Whale haunch? Mm-hmm. 424 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,758 Strongest part of the whale. 425 00:14:32,793 --> 00:14:33,931 King Konali Pakooli 426 00:14:33,965 --> 00:14:36,310 gave it to his warriors before every battle. 427 00:14:36,344 --> 00:14:39,034 Gave them untold strength. 428 00:14:39,068 --> 00:14:40,103 Hmm, I don't know. 429 00:14:40,137 --> 00:14:41,586 Aw, come on. 430 00:14:41,620 --> 00:14:44,482 I need to get rid of this stuff in case there's a raid, huh? 431 00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:46,000 Okay, Andy's mom, for you. 432 00:14:46,034 --> 00:14:47,413 Alright. $22.95. 433 00:14:47,448 --> 00:14:48,586 I'll take two. Good. 434 00:14:48,620 --> 00:14:49,827 Yeah. Yeah. 435 00:14:49,862 --> 00:14:51,586 Can I get you anything else? 436 00:14:51,620 --> 00:14:54,724 Perhaps you'd be interested in a gremlin? 437 00:14:54,758 --> 00:14:56,172 You got a gremlin in there? 438 00:14:56,206 --> 00:14:57,586 Careful. She's in heat. 439 00:15:00,448 --> 00:15:02,310 Lucy: Well, I think that's it for the training. 440 00:15:02,344 --> 00:15:04,379 You fellas are in great shape, totally ready. 441 00:15:04,413 --> 00:15:06,172 Wait. That's it? 442 00:15:06,206 --> 00:15:07,758 We're ready at the exact same time 443 00:15:07,793 --> 00:15:09,241 that all your grunt work is finished. 444 00:15:09,275 --> 00:15:11,413 There isn't any hidden Mr. Miyagi techniques 445 00:15:11,448 --> 00:15:12,758 to use in the ring? 446 00:15:12,793 --> 00:15:14,068 When you gonna show us how it all comes together? 447 00:15:14,103 --> 00:15:15,827 That kind of shit only happens in movies. 448 00:15:15,862 --> 00:15:18,172 What?!What? Are you kidding me? 449 00:15:18,206 --> 00:15:21,068 You guys are good boxers. You'll be fine. 450 00:15:21,103 --> 00:15:22,758 We trusted you. 451 00:15:22,793 --> 00:15:24,413 Oh, Ike. 452 00:15:27,758 --> 00:15:30,517 [ Slow-motion ] Whoa! Whoa! 453 00:15:33,517 --> 00:15:36,620 Clean the toilet! 454 00:15:36,655 --> 00:15:37,896 Roll the hose! 455 00:15:37,931 --> 00:15:39,103 Clean the toilet! Clean the toilet! 456 00:15:39,137 --> 00:15:40,586 Hey, Lucy. Throw me a punch. 457 00:15:40,620 --> 00:15:41,896 Ah! 458 00:15:41,931 --> 00:15:44,689 Throw me a punch! Clean the toilet! 459 00:15:44,724 --> 00:15:47,137 There were hidden Miyagi techniques in the grunt work. 460 00:15:47,172 --> 00:15:48,344 I guess there was. 461 00:15:48,379 --> 00:15:50,862 We're gonna kick some ass. Oh, yeah! 462 00:15:50,896 --> 00:15:52,965 Do me! Do me! 463 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:53,862 -Whoa! -Oh, oh. 464 00:15:53,896 --> 00:15:54,758 You good?I wasn't ready. 465 00:15:54,793 --> 00:15:57,000 Yeah. Go again. 466 00:15:57,034 --> 00:15:58,413 Yeah! -Hey! 467 00:15:58,448 --> 00:16:00,103 We're gonna kill them.Hell yeah! 468 00:16:00,137 --> 00:16:01,655 [ Electric-guitar music playing ] 469 00:16:01,689 --> 00:16:11,655 ♪♪ 470 00:16:11,689 --> 00:16:14,517 ♪♪ 471 00:16:14,551 --> 00:16:17,137 Hey, Vicky and girls! What's up?! 472 00:16:17,172 --> 00:16:18,448 Okay. Wow. 473 00:16:18,482 --> 00:16:19,965 What is this?Down here, right here. 474 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,137 Whoo! This is where the good stuff is. 475 00:16:21,172 --> 00:16:22,172 Is it? Is it? 476 00:16:22,206 --> 00:16:23,379 This is where the rock 'n' roll is. 477 00:16:23,413 --> 00:16:25,137 Yeah, but you don't play guitar. 478 00:16:25,172 --> 00:16:28,275 Oh, you're right. I shred it. 479 00:16:28,310 --> 00:16:29,896 Wow. That's painful. 480 00:16:29,931 --> 00:16:32,275 And you can hear it.Okay. Alright. Alright. 481 00:16:32,310 --> 00:16:33,344 Let's bring it down. Let's bring it down. 482 00:16:33,379 --> 00:16:34,758 Slash! Let's bring it down, okay? 483 00:16:34,793 --> 00:16:35,758 You like Slash? 484 00:16:35,793 --> 00:16:37,482 No. I don't. I really don't, baby. 485 00:16:37,517 --> 00:16:38,586 No. 486 00:16:38,620 --> 00:16:40,344 Anyway, you texted me about the girls. 487 00:16:40,379 --> 00:16:41,413 Now you can't take them 488 00:16:41,448 --> 00:16:42,551 to the movies with their friends? 489 00:16:42,586 --> 00:16:43,896 What's happening? 490 00:16:43,931 --> 00:16:45,517 I can't chaperone 10 little girls to the movies 491 00:16:45,551 --> 00:16:48,689 to watch some sort of female a capella group solve crimes. 492 00:16:48,724 --> 00:16:49,862 It hurts my T levels. 493 00:16:49,896 --> 00:16:52,241 I read it in "Chiseled AF" magazine. 494 00:16:52,275 --> 00:16:54,965 Partaking in female activities is bad for my T. 495 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,413 So you want to up your T levels? 496 00:16:56,448 --> 00:16:58,241 It's not complicated. You just take a pill. 497 00:16:58,275 --> 00:16:59,931 I can easily get you Shaftamax. 498 00:16:59,965 --> 00:17:01,655 I can get you Nutchaspike. 499 00:17:01,689 --> 00:17:03,862 I get it. You're all science-driven. 500 00:17:03,896 --> 00:17:06,103 I want to do things the natural way. 501 00:17:06,137 --> 00:17:07,482 Okay. 502 00:17:07,517 --> 00:17:08,758 I guess you won't need these sweet little cupcakes 503 00:17:08,793 --> 00:17:10,103 your daughters made for you. 504 00:17:10,137 --> 00:17:12,241 They're pink and girly and sprinkle-y and rainbow 505 00:17:12,275 --> 00:17:14,758 because you, you're a manly son of a bitch. 506 00:17:14,793 --> 00:17:15,793 Come on, girls.Hold on a second. 507 00:17:15,827 --> 00:17:16,758 Come on.Now, wait, wait, whoa, whoa. 508 00:17:16,793 --> 00:17:17,827 come on. come on. 509 00:17:17,862 --> 00:17:19,068 Oh, hey, sis. Hey, girls. I'll take those. 510 00:17:19,103 --> 00:17:21,068 Yeah. No problem. Just don't let the chief have any. 511 00:17:21,103 --> 00:17:22,172 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 512 00:17:22,206 --> 00:17:23,241 Hey, Chiefy. 513 00:17:23,275 --> 00:17:25,448 I got something for you -- whale haunch. 514 00:17:25,482 --> 00:17:27,172 King Krakatoa used to give this to his warriors 515 00:17:27,206 --> 00:17:29,000 before they ripped the heads of their enemies 516 00:17:29,034 --> 00:17:30,896 with their bare hands.This will make me manly? 517 00:17:30,931 --> 00:17:32,724 That'll spike your T right through your skull. 518 00:17:32,758 --> 00:17:34,034 I guess at this point, anything helps, right? 519 00:17:34,068 --> 00:17:35,620 That's right. Alright. 520 00:17:35,655 --> 00:17:36,896 Yeah. Bombs away. 521 00:17:36,931 --> 00:17:38,724 Do it. Oh, yeah. Chug it. Look at that. 522 00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:40,206 You're becoming one with the ocean. 523 00:17:40,241 --> 00:17:42,034 Ouf. Oh, yeah. 524 00:17:42,068 --> 00:17:44,034 Yeah! That's manly. 525 00:17:44,068 --> 00:17:45,827 Whale haunch! 526 00:17:45,862 --> 00:17:47,448 Whoa! Hey. 527 00:17:47,482 --> 00:17:49,724 This little guy survived as my streak continues. 528 00:17:49,758 --> 00:17:51,034 Hey, hey. 529 00:17:51,068 --> 00:17:52,931 Good luck in that match tomorrow, man, although I know 530 00:17:52,965 --> 00:17:55,103 you don't need it, right, because you're Eddie... 531 00:17:55,137 --> 00:17:57,137 Penisi! 532 00:18:00,448 --> 00:18:03,413 Aaaah! 533 00:18:03,448 --> 00:18:05,103 Aah! 534 00:18:05,137 --> 00:18:08,275 [ Growling ] 535 00:18:11,068 --> 00:18:14,068 [ Cheers and applause ] 536 00:18:14,103 --> 00:18:17,172 Ladies and gentlemen of Tacoma, 537 00:18:17,206 --> 00:18:20,586 let's get prepared to pummel. 538 00:18:20,620 --> 00:18:23,551 [ Cheers and applause ] 539 00:18:23,586 --> 00:18:25,965 Alright, guys. Remember, just go to the moves. 540 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:26,965 Mop the floor. 541 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,241 Scrub the toilet. Roll the hose. 542 00:18:28,275 --> 00:18:29,275 They are not gonna know what hit them. 543 00:18:29,310 --> 00:18:30,413 All: Yes, Sensei! 544 00:18:30,448 --> 00:18:32,689 [ Bell dings ] 545 00:18:32,724 --> 00:18:37,103 [ Crowd yelling indistinctly ] 546 00:18:37,137 --> 00:18:40,482 Lucy: Come on, Granny. Roll the hose. 547 00:18:40,517 --> 00:18:42,241 Roll the hose. Roll the hose. 548 00:18:42,275 --> 00:18:43,448 Roll the hose. Yeah! 549 00:18:44,344 --> 00:18:45,862 Ouf! 550 00:18:45,896 --> 00:18:48,172 Oops. 551 00:18:48,206 --> 00:18:49,206 [ Bell dings ] 552 00:18:49,241 --> 00:18:51,241 Alright, Ike. You got this. 553 00:18:51,275 --> 00:18:52,862 -Tubbs! Tubbs! -Come on, buddy. 554 00:18:52,896 --> 00:18:54,206 Just like we practiced, big guy. 555 00:18:54,241 --> 00:18:55,965 Mop the floor! Mop the floor! 556 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:56,931 Oh! Oh! 557 00:18:56,965 --> 00:18:58,827 Oh! Oh! 558 00:18:58,862 --> 00:19:00,931 Okay. 559 00:19:04,413 --> 00:19:06,310 [ Laughs ] 560 00:19:06,344 --> 00:19:08,689 Oh! 561 00:19:08,724 --> 00:19:10,310 Let's do this, Pikachu. 562 00:19:10,344 --> 00:19:12,965 My head says no, but my libido says yes. 563 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,000 Doesn't he have that thing 564 00:19:14,034 --> 00:19:14,965 where he likes to get hit by her? 565 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,206 Yeah. It's called a fetish. 566 00:19:17,241 --> 00:19:19,827 Scrub the toilet! Scrub the toilet! 567 00:19:21,310 --> 00:19:22,586 I'm sorry, Andy. 568 00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:24,379 Ah, don't worry about it. 569 00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:25,965 Either way, I come out a winner. 570 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:27,034 You need help, man. 571 00:19:27,068 --> 00:19:29,137 [ Crowd yelling indistinctly ] 572 00:19:33,413 --> 00:19:36,379 Lucy: Come on, man. Turn around and fight. 573 00:19:36,413 --> 00:19:38,965 Ugh! 574 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:42,448 It's hard to feel good about that. 575 00:19:42,482 --> 00:19:43,413 You don't need to do it. 576 00:19:43,448 --> 00:19:44,448 Let me do it.You don't need to do it. 577 00:19:44,482 --> 00:19:45,586 Ow, ow, ow, ow, stop. Stop. Stop. 578 00:19:45,620 --> 00:19:46,620 Okay. Okay. Okay. 579 00:19:46,655 --> 00:19:48,793 Hey, boys. Check it out. 580 00:19:48,827 --> 00:19:50,137 Am I right? Like a king. 581 00:19:50,172 --> 00:19:51,517 Dude, you look like Gandalf. 582 00:19:51,551 --> 00:19:53,206 It's a little long, but check this out -- 583 00:19:53,241 --> 00:19:54,241 rhinestones. 584 00:19:54,275 --> 00:19:56,344 -"Penisi Street." -Too much? 585 00:19:56,379 --> 00:19:57,827 I paid extra. -Worth every penny. 586 00:19:57,862 --> 00:19:59,206 You kidding me, Cap? Looks great. 587 00:19:59,241 --> 00:20:00,344 It's nice, right? It pops. 588 00:20:00,379 --> 00:20:01,655 You know what? Let's make dinner plans. 589 00:20:01,689 --> 00:20:03,379 This thing is gonna be over in 10 minutes. 590 00:20:03,413 --> 00:20:04,896 Granny, lace them up. -Okay. 591 00:20:04,931 --> 00:20:06,034 [ Cellphone rings ] 592 00:20:06,068 --> 00:20:07,103 Oh, hey, Ikey, will you read that text to me? 593 00:20:07,137 --> 00:20:08,344 Sure, Cap. 594 00:20:08,379 --> 00:20:10,137 It's not so much a text as it is a picture 595 00:20:10,172 --> 00:20:11,517 of the female genitalia. 596 00:20:11,551 --> 00:20:12,827 Nice. Okay. 597 00:20:12,862 --> 00:20:14,034 Text back, "I likes it," 598 00:20:14,068 --> 00:20:15,827 with the emoji of your choice. 599 00:20:15,862 --> 00:20:18,206 You sure, Cap? I mean, it's really graphic. 600 00:20:18,241 --> 00:20:19,413 I'm getting laced up. 601 00:20:19,448 --> 00:20:20,931 I'm about to save the honor of the station. 602 00:20:20,965 --> 00:20:22,931 Do me a solid. Text back. 603 00:20:22,965 --> 00:20:24,103 You choose the emoji. 604 00:20:24,137 --> 00:20:26,689 Of course. Alright. Yeah. Sure. 605 00:20:26,724 --> 00:20:27,827 "I likes it." 606 00:20:27,862 --> 00:20:30,758 Yeah. Pretzel emoji. 607 00:20:30,793 --> 00:20:32,517 Pretzel? What, you don't like pretzels? 608 00:20:32,551 --> 00:20:33,758 Hi, sweetie. 609 00:20:33,793 --> 00:20:35,344 I came to watch you kick his ass. 610 00:20:35,379 --> 00:20:37,724 Hey, Lola. How you doing? 611 00:20:37,758 --> 00:20:39,275 We were just sexting you. 612 00:20:39,310 --> 00:20:41,758 You have a wonderful tramp stamp by the way. 613 00:20:41,793 --> 00:20:43,241 I don't have a tramp stamp. 614 00:20:43,275 --> 00:20:46,068 That'll be all, Ike.Is that you? 615 00:20:46,103 --> 00:20:47,103 [ Gasps ] You've been cheating on me? 616 00:20:47,137 --> 00:20:49,068 Did we establish exclusivity? 617 00:20:49,103 --> 00:20:50,379 You asshole. 618 00:20:50,413 --> 00:20:52,206 Oh! Oh! Oh! 619 00:20:52,241 --> 00:20:53,482 Wow! 620 00:20:53,517 --> 00:20:55,689 I'll rip your head off your scrawny little body. 621 00:20:55,724 --> 00:20:57,379 Okay. Okay. 622 00:20:57,413 --> 00:20:58,551 Sleep with one eye open, you prick. 623 00:20:58,586 --> 00:20:59,862 -Get her out of here. -I'm gonna get you. 624 00:20:59,896 --> 00:21:00,827 Okay. Take it easy. 625 00:21:00,862 --> 00:21:02,000 What the hell happened in here? 626 00:21:02,034 --> 00:21:04,241 Oh, my ankle. 627 00:21:04,275 --> 00:21:05,275 Ahh. 628 00:21:05,310 --> 00:21:07,000 Your last name has penis in it. 629 00:21:07,034 --> 00:21:08,896 Anyone else notice that? 630 00:21:08,931 --> 00:21:10,275 Oh, yeah. This ankle is broken. 631 00:21:10,310 --> 00:21:12,068 I'm gonna have to pull him from the fight. 632 00:21:12,103 --> 00:21:13,896 I guess it's Polonsky's lucky day. 633 00:21:13,931 --> 00:21:15,448 -Oh, it's his lucky day? -Somebody go tell him. 634 00:21:15,482 --> 00:21:17,103 He just got a reprieve from the governor. 635 00:21:17,137 --> 00:21:19,068 He's faking. Pussy! 636 00:21:19,103 --> 00:21:20,793 Well, he's still gonna kick your ass. 637 00:21:20,827 --> 00:21:22,034 In, like, 6 to 8 weeks. 638 00:21:22,068 --> 00:21:24,310 Yeah. Yeah. You hear that? Mark your calendar. 639 00:21:24,344 --> 00:21:27,379 Oh, you're having your sister do your fighting for you now. 640 00:21:27,413 --> 00:21:29,551 Oh! Don't talk about my wife like that. 641 00:21:29,586 --> 00:21:31,034 I'll fight you myself, you assclown. 642 00:21:31,068 --> 00:21:32,310 Bring it on, fat boy. 643 00:21:32,344 --> 00:21:34,034 I don't care who it is at this point. 644 00:21:34,068 --> 00:21:35,344 Let's do this, ginger. 645 00:21:35,379 --> 00:21:38,965 Ginger?! Oh! It's on! 646 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:40,172 Terry, you sure about this? 647 00:21:40,206 --> 00:21:41,655 Yeah. I'm sure about this. 648 00:21:41,689 --> 00:21:44,000 Ah! 649 00:21:44,034 --> 00:21:46,241 Uh, what in God's name is that? 650 00:21:46,275 --> 00:21:47,310 You'll see. 651 00:21:47,344 --> 00:21:49,172 Mm! 652 00:21:49,206 --> 00:21:51,551 Whale haunch, makes a man strong. 653 00:21:51,586 --> 00:21:52,793 Chief, you haven't even trained. 654 00:21:52,827 --> 00:21:54,689 I don't need to train because tonight, 655 00:21:54,724 --> 00:21:56,655 I'm Eddie Penisi. -♪ Eddie 656 00:21:56,689 --> 00:21:58,448 -Hey! -Hey! 657 00:21:58,482 --> 00:22:01,931 And now for the main event, 658 00:22:01,965 --> 00:22:05,000 followed by the raffle for the leaf blower, 659 00:22:05,034 --> 00:22:10,068 in this corner, weighing 190, the Jabrona from Tacoma, 660 00:22:10,103 --> 00:22:13,172 Police Captain Jerry Polonsky! 661 00:22:13,206 --> 00:22:14,620 -Yeah! -Boo! 662 00:22:14,655 --> 00:22:17,068 And in this corner, weighing... 663 00:22:17,103 --> 00:22:19,413 195! 664 00:22:19,448 --> 00:22:20,482 Sure. 665 00:22:20,517 --> 00:22:22,137 Fire Chief Terry McConky. 666 00:22:22,172 --> 00:22:23,793 -Whoo! -Go, Terry! 667 00:22:23,827 --> 00:22:25,517 -Come on! -Yeah! 668 00:22:25,551 --> 00:22:26,586 [ Growls ] 669 00:22:26,620 --> 00:22:28,827 -Yeah, there he is. -Yes! 670 00:22:28,862 --> 00:22:30,206 -You up for this, Chief? -Yeah. 671 00:22:30,241 --> 00:22:31,793 I've been taking whale haunch. 672 00:22:31,827 --> 00:22:32,862 Where'd you get that from? 673 00:22:32,896 --> 00:22:34,137 Eddie gave it to me. 674 00:22:34,172 --> 00:22:35,827 -Where'd you get that from? -From your mom. 675 00:22:35,862 --> 00:22:37,551 Oh, that stuff is bullshit. 676 00:22:37,586 --> 00:22:39,793 It's just coconut water and vanilla extract. 677 00:22:39,827 --> 00:22:42,586 She tell you a whole story about King Kalapanaki? 678 00:22:42,620 --> 00:22:43,689 Yeah. It's a great story. 679 00:22:43,724 --> 00:22:45,206 No. It's all fake. 680 00:22:45,241 --> 00:22:47,517 God, she makes so much money preying off white people's 681 00:22:47,551 --> 00:22:49,655 condescending beliefs in third-world cultures. 682 00:22:49,689 --> 00:22:52,172 Shrewd. She is so full of ancient-island wisdom. 683 00:22:52,206 --> 00:22:53,448 She try to sell you a gremlin? 684 00:22:53,482 --> 00:22:54,482 She sold me a gremlin. 685 00:22:54,517 --> 00:22:55,862 No. It's a flying squirrel. 686 00:22:55,896 --> 00:22:57,310 So wait. It's not real? 687 00:22:57,344 --> 00:22:58,344 Mnh-mnh. 688 00:22:58,379 --> 00:22:59,379 Oh, shit. 689 00:22:59,413 --> 00:23:00,413 [ Bell dings ] 690 00:23:00,448 --> 00:23:01,827 [ Screaming ] 691 00:23:01,862 --> 00:23:04,275 [ Groaning ] 692 00:23:04,310 --> 00:23:05,241 [ Bell dinging ] 693 00:23:05,275 --> 00:23:07,413 [ Screaming and groaning continue ] 694 00:23:10,965 --> 00:23:13,000 [ Andy groaning ] 695 00:23:15,275 --> 00:23:17,241 Ahh. 696 00:23:20,793 --> 00:23:25,034 [ Groaning ] 697 00:23:25,068 --> 00:23:26,344 What'd the doctor say? 698 00:23:26,379 --> 00:23:27,724 He said I have contusions, 699 00:23:27,758 --> 00:23:30,000 lacerations and a little bit of brain damage. 700 00:23:30,034 --> 00:23:32,758 He says I'm lucky I still know how to breathe. 701 00:23:32,793 --> 00:23:35,448 Oh, but that beating did somehow raise my T levels, 702 00:23:35,482 --> 00:23:38,275 so, Granny, I did it the natural way. 703 00:23:38,310 --> 00:23:40,413 Hey.You're an inspiration. 704 00:23:40,448 --> 00:23:42,551 [ Bell dings ]Whoo! 705 00:23:42,586 --> 00:23:44,034 What an unforgettable night, huh, guys? 706 00:23:44,068 --> 00:23:45,482 Terry: Oh, yeah. Let me guess. 707 00:23:45,517 --> 00:23:47,482 On the way to the hospital, you boned the ambulance driver. 708 00:23:47,517 --> 00:23:48,793 Close. 709 00:23:48,827 --> 00:23:50,448 You got to the hospital, and you boned the E.R. doctor. 710 00:23:50,482 --> 00:23:51,793 No. I made sweet love 711 00:23:51,827 --> 00:23:53,965 to the lady that rented me this scooter. 712 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:55,241 Son of a bitch. 713 00:23:55,275 --> 00:23:56,379 And after the lovemaking, 714 00:23:56,413 --> 00:23:58,241 I found a buffalo nickel in the parking lot. 715 00:23:58,275 --> 00:23:59,620 How do you do it, huh, Cap? 716 00:23:59,655 --> 00:24:01,413 How does everything keep coming up roses for you? 717 00:24:01,448 --> 00:24:03,793 It's easy, my friend. I'm Eddie Penisi. 718 00:24:03,827 --> 00:24:05,034 ♪ Eddie 719 00:24:05,068 --> 00:24:06,482 Okay. That's it. 720 00:24:06,517 --> 00:24:07,862 What are you doing? 721 00:24:07,896 --> 00:24:09,793 You need a little humble pie, and I'm the guy to feed you. 722 00:24:09,827 --> 00:24:12,034 Are you threatening me? Do you know who I am? 723 00:24:12,068 --> 00:24:13,172 I know who you are. 724 00:24:13,206 --> 00:24:15,068 You're a guy whose luck just ran out. 725 00:24:15,103 --> 00:24:16,344 Come at me. 726 00:24:16,379 --> 00:24:17,896 My fist, your face, 727 00:24:17,931 --> 00:24:20,689 a match made in heaven.Ding, ding. 728 00:24:20,724 --> 00:24:22,448 [ Bell dings ] 729 00:24:22,482 --> 00:24:26,034 ♪♪ 730 00:24:26,068 --> 00:24:29,620 ♪♪